Contest #38: November 21 to December 4, 1997


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The winning entry was submitted by Sean Bugel. It was:

3D Realms staff sure knows how to have a good time. The one and only Brian "Whaleboy" Cozzens demonstrates what he does with his spare time at night, sitting in the parking lot 'spread eagle' making obscene gestures to oncoming traffic mumbling words of vulgarity.

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. Mentally handicapped parking only (Michael Moen)
  2. This hidden camera shows the defiant Mr. Cozzens shortly before his apprehension by local police for illegally parking his chair in a handicapped zone. (Wesley Moyer)
  3. "Like a good neighbor, Brian is there!" As Sung to the State Farm Jingle! (Bill Goodhead)
  4. This picture is obvious proof why after eating a whole pot of pork and beans there was no choice but to make Brian sit outside! (Victor Patuzzi)
  5. If the sign fell on Brian, and there's nobody around, will he make a sound? (Tony Jurjonas)
  6. Don't worry. "Beam me up ,Scotty" often takes some time to work!! (Mal Cohen)
  7. After drawing things for 72 hours straight, Brian thinks he's home watching Fox's "World's Scariest Police Chases of Animals Attacking..." (Robert Norsworthy)
  8. Brian welcomes the newest Apogee programmer... the Poltergeist (Matt McDonald)
  9. Brian Cozzens, peeved after losing his handicap space to Loyal (due to the ruptured nut), stakes out the parking lot. When Loyal arrives, the Whaleboy will, and I quote, "scramble his huevos." (Humberto Yeverino)
  10. Whaleboy sits patiently waiting for the ball to drop. But he is in the wrong city, during the wrong month, and off the mark by 2 feet. (Penny Lindlau)

In reality, this is Brian "Whaleboy" Cozzens sitting on a chair in our parking lot at night.