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The winning entry was submitted by Sean
Bugel. It was:
 3D Realms staff sure knows how to have a good time. The one and only
Brian "Whaleboy" Cozzens demonstrates what he does with his spare time at night,
sitting in the parking lot 'spread eagle' making obscene gestures to oncoming traffic
mumbling words of vulgarity.
Some of the others (in no particular order):
- Mentally handicapped parking only (Michael Moen)
- This hidden camera shows the defiant Mr. Cozzens shortly
before his apprehension by local police for illegally parking his chair in a handicapped
zone. (Wesley Moyer)
- "Like a good neighbor, Brian is there!" As Sung to
the State Farm Jingle! (Bill Goodhead)
- This picture is obvious proof why after eating a whole pot of
pork and beans there was no choice but to make Brian sit outside! (Victor Patuzzi)
- If the sign fell on Brian, and there's nobody around, will he
make a sound? (Tony Jurjonas)
- Don't worry. "Beam me up ,Scotty" often takes some
time to work!! (Mal Cohen)
- After drawing things for 72 hours straight, Brian thinks he's
home watching Fox's "World's Scariest Police Chases of Animals Attacking..."
(Robert Norsworthy)
- Brian welcomes the newest Apogee programmer... the Poltergeist
(Matt McDonald)
- Brian Cozzens, peeved after losing his handicap space to Loyal
(due to the ruptured nut), stakes out the parking lot. When Loyal arrives, the Whaleboy
will, and I quote, "scramble his huevos." (Humberto Yeverino)
- Whaleboy sits patiently waiting for the ball to drop. But he
is in the wrong city, during the wrong month, and off the mark by 2 feet. (Penny Lindlau)
In reality, this is Brian
"Whaleboy" Cozzens sitting on a chair in our parking lot at night.
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