Contest #114: January 19th to February 1st, 2001


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The winning entry was submitted by Rob Crespo. It was:

"The manual will be fantastic! Everything is scratch-and-sniff: even this guy's crotch! Truly hard-core gamers will appreciate the time, effort, and crotch sniffing research it took to get this just right."

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. "Mr. Lake, could you describe to the jury the events of the night of the so called 'Duke Nukem' massacre?" (James Marble)
  2. "Well, I guess if you guys insist... we could put a few hookers in right here" (David Koenig)
  3. "Ok kiddies, Its time for our first story. But we wont be able to finish the story till its done" (Scott Harper)
  4. "Duke gets very jealous, especially in this situation, where Sam points out how Max Payne will be boasting larger genitalia than Duke Nukem could ever have dreamed of having." (Mike Guay)
  5. "Studies have shown that by doubling the bulge in the crotch area here, we can increase our sales to female gamers by over 75 percent! Or, at least that's what my mom says." (Troy Lawlor)
  6. Duke Nukem: "Go ahead Punk - Storyboard my Day!!" (Don Chin)
  7. "Hold still Sam a fly is about to land on your head." (John Tegland)
  8. How 3DR makes it's influence known in all of its collaborative projects: At Duke-point. (Stephen Correia)
  9. Sam points to the large genitals of his proposed ambiguously gay supervillain. (Humberto Yeverino)
  10. "Sit down, George. I'm not finished talking yet." (Lee Jackson)

In reality, this is Sam Lake of Remedy at 3DR HQ doing a story pitch for Max Payne.