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The winning
entry was submitted by Matthias
Grimm. It was:
 'Where's my office?? Could somebody out there please push the TAB-key for the map??'
Some
of the others (in no particular order):
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"Bryan Turner, who took the phrase "Come Get Some" a bit too literally, is about to realize what happens when you steal the boss' sodas and put them in your "oh so inconspicuous" backpack: he's probably about to strafe from behind the next corner and frag you." (Moses
Chiullan)
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"Does this backpack make my butt look too big?" (Stephen
Correia)
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How far away do I have to get before the Level of Detail code gets rid of this bald spot on the back of my head? (Chris
Gump)
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With the pilfered soda cans carefully tucked away in his backpack, Bryan leaves for home, looking forward to another long night of belching, itching and joyful caffeine induced excitement! (John White)
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"Welcome to your guided tour of 3D Realms Corporate HQ. There is the room where we keep all the soda... there's all the porn we hide from our girlfriends and wives... there's the convoluted idea for a 3D Commander Keen sequel locked up where we can't ever get to it... And in there's George Broussard. Watch out, he'll bite you." (Steve
Trinkl)
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CNN: "...and in an ironic twist of fate the 3d Realms caption contest camera was taking photos at the precise moment that the suicide bomber walked onto the premesis. Police on the cleanup operation say that all they have found currently are scraps of what they believe is a white shirt which was washed with red underwear...." (Josh Jones)
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"It took seven hours of failed attempts to reach his workstation for Bryan to notice that the hallway floors had been replaced with moving conveyor belts." (Neph Mitchell)
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"I work in Customer Support. Kill me." (Josh
Bedell)
In reality, this is Bryan Turner arriving for work.
Not exciting, we know, but it's the truth.
And you know this one had to happen: "Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building." (Michael Gough)
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