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The winning
entry was submitted by Shaun
Finney. It was:
 "In
response to Britney Spears' appearance in Pepsi ads, the Coca Cola
company called up the only person that could rival her in sheer breast
size."
Some
of the others (in no particular order):
- "Coca-Cola sent us a 'request' to be one
of Duke Nukem Forever's beta testers" (Reepal Parbhoo)
- Joe proudly shows the 1 millionth can of
Coca-Cola delivered to 3dRealms since the DNF project started. (Frank
Paniz)
- "Forget the games you've been hearing
about lately. Prey, which had been canned is now about to be unleashed!" (Gautam
Menon)
- "Cardinal Joe Ximinez: Our chief weapon is
sugar.. Sugar and caffeine.. Caffeine and sugar.. Our two weapons are
caffeine and sugar. And aluminum.. Our *three* weapons are caffeine,
sugar, and aluminum... And carbonated water... Our *four*.. No.. Amongst
our weapons.. Amongst our weaponry.. are such elements as caffeine,
sugar... I'll come in again." (Eskil Lauritsen) (It's a Monty Python
reference if you didn't know)
- "See this Coke? Next time someone asks me
when Duke Nukem Forever will be released I am going to shove it up their
ass.... sideways." (Dave Broussard)
- "uh-huh, joe, that's a coke too... just
like ALL the other ones you've correctly identified." (William Super)
- Having decided to recycle his old Coke
cans, Joe was about to recycle their contents (Robert Falconer)
- Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf denies that Joe
Siegler is drinking Coca-Cola. "It is the Coca-Cola that is drinking Joe
Siegler, praise Allah!" (Steve Trinkl)
- In Loving Memory: Joe Siegler shortly
before his untimely death. Joe believed that if only he could consume
enough caffeine that he would be able to dodge bullets in slow-motion much
like his beloved hero Max Payne. He was mistaken. In lieu of flowers, his
family requests that you please make a donation to the Darwin Society.
(Elwin Alameda)
- Joes vow to drink one can of soda for
every 100 Wamplet messageboard posts began to affect his sanity (Steve
Mullen)
- <DP Gumby>Oy think..... they should tax
people.... who have... cans... of Coke!! (looks around) OOOOoooooo!</DP
Gumby> (Joe Siegler - another Monty Python reference)
In reality, this is Joe Siegler right after he had knocked over about
12 cases of Coca-Cola in the lunchroom of our old offices.
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