Contest #170: April 25th to May 8th, 2003


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The winning entry was submitted by Shaun Finney. It was:

"In response to Britney Spears' appearance in Pepsi ads, the Coca Cola company called up the only person that could rival her in sheer breast size."

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. "Coca-Cola sent us a 'request' to be one of Duke Nukem Forever's beta testers" (Reepal Parbhoo)
  2. Joe proudly shows the 1 millionth can of Coca-Cola delivered to 3dRealms since the DNF project started. (Frank Paniz)
  3. "Forget the games you've been hearing about lately. Prey, which had been canned is now about to be unleashed!" (Gautam Menon)
  4. "Cardinal Joe Ximinez: Our chief weapon is sugar.. Sugar and caffeine.. Caffeine and sugar.. Our two weapons are caffeine and sugar. And aluminum.. Our *three* weapons are caffeine, sugar, and aluminum... And carbonated water... Our *four*.. No.. Amongst our weapons.. Amongst our weaponry.. are such elements as caffeine, sugar... I'll come in again." (Eskil Lauritsen) (It's a Monty Python reference if you didn't know)
  5. "See this Coke? Next time someone asks me when Duke Nukem Forever will be released I am going to shove it up their ass.... sideways." (Dave Broussard)
  6. "uh-huh, joe, that's a coke too... just like ALL the other ones you've correctly identified." (William Super)
  7. Having decided to recycle his old Coke cans, Joe was about to recycle their contents (Robert Falconer)
  8. Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf denies that Joe Siegler is drinking Coca-Cola. "It is the Coca-Cola that is drinking Joe Siegler, praise Allah!" (Steve Trinkl)
  9. In Loving Memory: Joe Siegler shortly before his untimely death. Joe believed that if only he could consume enough caffeine that he would be able to dodge bullets in slow-motion much like his beloved hero Max Payne. He was mistaken. In lieu of flowers, his family requests that you please make a donation to the Darwin Society. (Elwin Alameda)
  10. Joes vow to drink one can of soda for every 100 Wamplet messageboard posts began to affect his sanity (Steve Mullen)
  11. <DP Gumby>Oy think..... they should tax people.... who have... cans... of Coke!! (looks around) OOOOoooooo!</DP Gumby> (Joe Siegler - another Monty Python reference)

In reality, this is Joe Siegler right after he had knocked over about 12 cases of Coca-Cola in the lunchroom of our old offices.