Contest #149: May 31st to June 13th, 2002


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The winning entry was submitted by Allison Geode. It was:

 "Gosh, Bryan, this looks like crap, and smells like crap, and it feels like crap, and after licking it off this twig, I can safely say it tastes like crap! I sure am glad we didn't step in it!"

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. Steve Blackburn pokes as he wonders if he should have waited for the nearest porta-potty before he answered nature's call. (Jarrett Garneau)
  2. "Look, Bryan, there's a note. It reads: "Another alien bastard vaporized, compliments of your friendly neighborhood Duke Nukem." (Cameron Orr)
  3. "Never again shall we let George eat Mexican food." (Jake Corre)
  4. Turn every stone. DNF's release date must be hidden SOMEWHERE! (Simon Charles)
  5. "That patch of tar doesn't fit this scenario. Get one of the level designers to fix that." (??? Lander)
  6. Well buddy.... that's the rest of the old EGA Graphics games... now we won't be haunted by the primitive sprites and drawings anymore. (Matthew Hartmann)
  7. Steve: I think this means something.
    Bryan: Yeah, you're a freak. Can we go now? (Cameron Orr)
  8. Steve explains to a fascinated Bryan that by rearranging some of the letters in "LaBrea Tar pits" and omitting the rest, the word "Breast" can be formed. (Stan Marsh)
  9. Yeah, yeah. Spontaneous Human Combustion is real. Now help me find his wallet. (Al Everett)
  10. "This is why putting a Duke Nukem Statue in Carmack Park was a bad idea, Bryan. I mean they burnt the #@$*ing thing down to ground." (Ryan Hadlock)
  11. "Aw come on, Steve! Like we don't get enough crap reading all the 'When's DNF coming out?' emails!" (Dan Robert Polsrod)
  12. 3D Realms should've supplied a complimentary pair of Duke sunglasses for this last contest...to shield our eyes from those white legs on Steve Blackburn! (Don Chin)
  13. Bryan: You've poked it enough! It's my turn! (Chaise McGowan)
  14. Steve Blackburn honors the memory of Tasha Yar with a moment of silence. (Cameron Orr)
  15. "Rest in peace, Xenophage." (Stan Marsh)

In reality, this is Bryan Turner (standing) and Steve Blackburn examining some tar on a sidewalk at the LaBrea Tarpits in Los Angeles, CA.