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The winning
entry was submitted by Rory O'
Kelley. It was:
 "Ruben
insists on getting the flat_donut_01 texture absolutely perfect. No
wonder the game is taking so long."
Some
of the others (in no particular order):
- When a donut comes out looking exactly the
same as it did going in, you know it was crap. (Gautam Menon)
- Rarely seen on film, Ruben is captured
during an involuntary physical reaction to seeing the release date for
DNF. So powerful was the reaction, that he was actually propelled off the
chair. (Mike Bird)
- Uuhhhh. I thought my digestive system
worked better than that. (David DuBose)
- "It's done?! Holy shit....!" (Jeff Stine)
- "Man, that is one ugly looking turd that's
about to sit on that donut!!" (Gautom Menon)
- "...and then my butt draws power from my
Magical Atomic Bear Claw, and I can lift my desk with one hand! Watch
this!" (Troy Kelso)
- The 3D Realms FlushChair 3000™ eliminates
the need for bathroom breaks (Rory O' Kelley)
- "I'm sorry but this is insulting. For
several years now I've been keeping track of the wonderful 3D Realms
Captioning Contest, relishing in delight with every witticism and humorous
barb. I've come to expect a certain level of subtly and sophistication in
the contests. But to my dismay you have posted this rudimentary photo that
reeks of sophomoric humor and poor taste. We all know what everyone's
going to say about this obvious setup and frankly, it's insulting. I
thought we were past the obvious entries alluding to prostitution, sexual
deviency, and bodily functions. I'm sorry to say that this is too much. I
will not bring myself down to this level. I am making my stand and I can
only hope that my fellow contest entrants will do so as well... '3D Realms
management is unsure whether they should spray Ruben with the water bottle
or rub his nose in it. Either way it's agreed that Ruben needs to be
housebroken soon if he's to remain with the company.'" (Philip Atkins)
In reality, this is Ruben Cabrera about
to sit on his chair on a strategically placed donut.
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