Contest #9: September 17 to 30, 1996


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The winning entry was submitted by James Abbott. It was:

"A Cowboy, a Yuppie, and two Mexicans walk into a bar...."

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. When will lunch at 3D Realms be ready? "When it is finished." (David Laprad)
  2. This picture is of the 3D Realms sacred shrine, and the gods they worship (Ben Golus).
  3. "OK class, I need four volunteers. Today we are studying the effects of expanding gas. (Lanky ???)
  4. George Broussard studies the sauces, trying to figure out what color of blood to use in Prey (Bill H.)
  5. Rumors of the Prey staff being really "sauced" are greatly exaggerated! (Sykesj)
  6. From humble beginnings came the Church of Sauceology, lead by the money grubbing L.Ron.HorseSauce. (Dr. Fooms)
  7. If you're just joining us on our coverage of the Miss America of Condiments Pageant, we are now at the swimsuit competition portion of the pageant. Miss Taco Bell Mild Sauce, Miss Taco Bell Hot Sauce, Miss McDonalds Fancy Ketchup, and Miss Arbys Horsey Sauce line up to show their stuff. (Bryan Kowal)

In reality, this is a bunch of fast food condiment packets lined up in front of the camera for no good reason.