Contest #109: October 27th to November 9th, 2000


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The winning entry was submitted by Steve Trinkl. It was:

The new Duke Nukem shrinkway was all-too successful. It shrunk hapless Charlie down to microscopic sizes. Somehow, and don't ask us, he stumbled upon Matt's crack stash and is now living on one of Mr. Wood's nose hairs. Unfortunately, Matt is about to sneeze.

(Definitely one of the more "out there" winners we've had)

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. Matt: "With all the money this company makes you would THINK we'd get the cabinet door replaced!" (Frank P. DeCandia)
  2. "Matt is actually a vampire. He has drank the liquid from the 'red' coffee pot, which does not contain coffee, but blood (thus the red handle)." (Paul Lapides)
  3. Broussard, off-camera: "Matt, we just switched Duke Nukem Forever over to another 3D engine...it uses a different model type than we've been using, so you'll have to redo all the models for us; will that be a problem?" (Mark Hadley)
  4. "I JUST SPENT FOURTEEN HOURS TESTING SLOT MACHINE FUNCTIONALITY! I'M IN HELL!" (Stephen Correia)
  5. Matt impersonates the look on Clinton's face when Monica sneezed "while in action." (Greg Miller)
  6. 'After seeing his reflection in a mirror, Matt Wood just realized the state his hair was in!' (David Bell)
  7. "Scream 6, take 27. Remember Matt, you're a level designer and you're frightened!" (Cameron Orr again)
  8. Matt tries to do his Gene Simmons impression, but ends up coming on more as Richard Simmons. (Steve Trinkl)
  9. This, is your game developer on natural sunlight. Please, tape your windows. This has been a public service announcement, provided by the gaming community. (Justin Allen)
  10. "Matt was the first of the team to try the new 'stay-awake-till-DNF's-release' coffee blend." (Wade Marsich)
  11. Sere we see Matt demonstrating how Bill Gates would look at a Netscape convention. (Paul Oswald)
  12. "The coffee in the pot is not hot, hot the pot was not. Help he yelped, but his yelp was not met with help. Pour himself he must try, he thought as he began to cry. With a sigh and a cry, he began to try, but too hard it was, in his job this not what he does. With more cry and a gasp, he dropped the flask. It is now the end, I'm sorry my friend." (Cameron Orr)

In reality, this is Matt Wood in our lunchroom reacting to the camera.