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The winning entry was submitted by Brad
O'Bryhim. It was:
 With over 5 dozen orders still left, you could already see the early signs
Dopefishius Stupidius Virus carving a path through Bryan Turner's central nervous system.
Note the incredibly dopey smile and feeling of happiness while doing boring and
repetitious work. Yes, Bryan is slowly turning into a burping, farting, blithering idiot.
Some of the others (in no particular order):
- The 3D Realms staff begin to get concerned when Bryan Turner,
slightly giddy after two steady days of checking, seal-wrapping, and mailing Shadow
Warrior orders, can be overheard singing "10000 $#!@% CD's on my desk, 10000 $#!@%
CD's. Take one down, pass it around, 9999 $#!@% CD's on my desk..." (Liam Hassett)
- Although they make games that glorify stripping and wanton
violence, the 3D Realms crew really is a very intellectual group. Some of their
after-hours activities include taking Mensa tests, watching Jeopardy marathons, playing
blindfold chess tournaments, and the overwhelming favorite, daring each other to stick
their fingers in their Zip drives to "feel the tingle" (pictured here.) (Kiran
Helferty)
- Bryan gets one thumb trapped in a book binder and the other
thumb trapped under a pile of CD's. He continues to struggle because surrender isn't an
option. (StevenRoy Michelsen)
- "Man do I love this game!" Exclaims Bryan as he
installs his 23rd copy of shadow warrior. (Redfox. ???)
- Bryan: "This is the Lo Wang hot sex line... tell me about
your sword." (Matt McDonald)
- Bryan attempts to hide his "Windows 95 for Dummies"
book under a stack of Shadow Warriors. (Matt McDonald)
- Bryan was so excited that no one had the heart to tell him
stacking the CDs up in his drive wouldn't help with performance. (Matthew Turk)
- "Dude, who needs the 3Dfx patch and two of them new cards
when you've got 163 game CD-ROMS! This is gonna rock!" (Nick Sabalausky)
- He surrounds himself with CD's to look busy, but he's actually
browsing porn on the Internet. (StevenRoy Michelsen)
In reality, this is Bryan Turner packing
Shadow Warrior orders during the initial shipment phase.
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