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The winning entry was submitted by Sam Sallie. It was:
 "Oh,
give me a home where the Twinkies roam,
and the beer and the cantaloupe play.
Where often is heard a Kentucky-fried bird,
and the pies are not moldy or gray."
Some of the others (in no particular order):
- Lee: "I am soo glad they asked me to be the entertainment
for the night! I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I do the grand finale. I
wonder if they will like my thong?" (Josh Merva)
- "But this one goes to eleven." (Steven Marsh)
- When Lee plays his guitar and sings everybody (and I do mean
everybody) at Apogee screams and throws their panties at him. The sad part is that most of
the people employed by Apogee are men. (El Chiwawa ??)
- "Now what was that chord Phoebe showed me...turkey
claw...iceberg..?" (Randy Ford)
- While rumors have persisted for years that Elvis had faked his
own death no evidence had been provided to that fact. But in other news this recent
picture suggests that Jerry Garcia may actually have pulled it off and is now working as a
recording engineer at the much revered 3D realms Studios. (Justin Ragsdale)
- One of the former members of the Jackson Five. (Dan Ulery)
- "Ladies and gentlemen, from Los Angeles California, the
amazing Lee Jackson will now attempt to play the guitar with his beard...hey, where is
everyone going?" (Clint McDermott)
- "After this project, I'm touring with ZZ Top!" (John
Wetzler)
- Lee: Lookie here Maw, this new fangled banjo's been
lectrified! Mebbe if I gets good enough they might let me on Hee Haw! (Ryan Fulton)
- Today, Joe Siegler's office. Tomorrow, HOLLYWOOD! (Josh Merva)
- Joe Siegler: "Give it up Lee, you've been trying for
three days to make up words for the Duke Nukem 3D theme song. It just doesn't work, trust
me" (Josh Edelman)
- "What does Dave Mustaine have that I haven't got?"
(Jason Glor)
In reality, this is Lee Jackson playing a guitar in
Joe Siegler's office.
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