Contest #94: March 3rd to March 16th, 2000


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The winning entry was submitted by Kelly Manzanares. It was:

Lee enthusiastically accepts a lucrative endorsement contract for the soon-to-be-released "Man-Size" Q-Tip.

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. During the annual spring cleaning at 3D Realms, this is what they found behind a stack of old newspapers. (Ryan Raner)

  2. "Hey, look at this Def Leppard/Rick Allen drumstick I bought on eBay! I got it for only $147.92! They said it can be used on keyboards too!" (Randy Ford)

  3. "And here, gentlemen, is another perfect example of why Microsoft no longer hires ex-roadies for Metallica!" (Ectal Greenhaw)

  4. At last revealed... The origins of the strippers moans. (Cameron Orr)

  5. Yanni has really let himself go since he and Linda Evans split up. (Matthew Wier)

  6. "This just came outta me. Whadaya think? Too much fiber in my diet?" (Matthew Wier)

  7. "Proof that any fool can write music for videogames" (Mark Cohan)

  8. "Yes ladies and gentleman, you get the monitors, the speakers, the keyboard, the mixer, and now a single drumstick, for only 19.95. Yep you heard me right, 19.95! And if you call within the next 20 minutes...." (Justin Allen)

  9. Pull my stick. (David Koenig)

  10. When Lee eats a York peppermint patty, he gets the sensation of... (Travis McDevitt)

  11. He's not in it for the money. He's not in it for the fame. Lee's in it for the free toys he gets to play with. (Travis McDevitt)

  12. "Wazaaaap?" (Glen Brink)

  13. Stop bothering me, don't make me take off my shirt. (Patrick Ballison)

  14. "Lee sings the Bile Duct Blues while holding a model wooden stent up for the camera. Note: Giant wooden bile duct stent disinfected prior to picture." (Colin McKinney)

In reality, this is Lee Jackson in his music studio.  Not much more needs be said.  :)

Lee also sent in several of his own submissions for this contest.  They are:

  1. "Chu-Chu Drummer! The Drumstick is SUGOII!!!"

  2. "Okay, a drumstick in the right eye hurts like hell. Let's see how one in the LEFT eye feels..."

  3. A behind-the-technology look at Lee's gallbladder replacement machine, and the happy active life it allows him to lead.

  4. Big Boy Bigfoot Bangs Beatbox. Film at 11. or Big Bad Bearded Beanie Baby Bangs Beatbox. Film at 11.

  5. Kenny and Kyle, alone and mournful in the background, know exactly what country is to blame for this.

  6. ...and as the full moon manifests itself on Lee's computer screen, his transformation into The Werewolf Drummer of Garland begins yet again....