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Discuss this
contest here ]
The winning
entry was submitted by Scott Pakin. It was:
 A
hundred boxes of Max on the floor,
A hundred boxes of Max.
If one of these boxes should ship out the door,
Ninety-nine boxes of Max on the floor.
Some
of the others (in no particular order):
-
I'll just unpack these in slow motion
and see if my boss appreciates the irony. (Scott Buzaleski)
-
One to open and play. The others are
going to be put up and kept in mint condition. Charlie felt the
collectible mouse pads would increase in value over the years.
(Jeff Hafner)
-
"If these boxes of Max Payne doesn't
make Britany love me, nothing will..." (Cameron Orr)
-
"I wonder how many I need to trade at
EB for a Playstation 2?" (Justin Heyes-Jones)
-
"The Max Payne advertisement campaign
hits an all time-low, Door-to-door sales in a Hotel." (Garth2K
???)
-
"Ok here's one for Aunt Flo, one for
Rose, Uncle Max...who have I forgotten?" Charlie Wiederhold sneaks
into 3DRealms in the wee early morning hours to finish his
Christmas "shopping". (Jeff Schroeder)
-
Charlie Wiederhold, just moments
before he realizes that after 18 hours of box counting, he's
forgotten what number he's on. In the ensuing carnage, Lee Jackson
managed to prevent any fatalities by knocking the disgruntled
young man unconscious with the legendary Man
Sized Q-Tip. (Martin Hawkins)
-
"As Charlie unpacks the thousands of
boxes with max payne's face staring blankly up at him, he couldn't
help but feel oddly aroused" (Caleb Johnson)
-
"Psst... hey joe help me crack open
all these boxes, i accidentally slipped my porn stash in one of
these as a prank." (Matthew Pang)
-
"When 3DREALMS promised to include
"goodies" with pre-orders, I bet George had no idea what Charile
was up to..." (Tim Townsend)
-
(Talking into the box).....Psssssssst..........Lupino?...........got
the V shipment for me?" (Nick Johnson)
-
While unpacking boxes supposedly
filled with copies of Max Payne, Charlie comes across a box full
of magazines entitled "MAX PAYN", noticing the erotic content
contained with in them he immediatly goes into bullet-time to
review them before the other employees arrive. (Jon Hurley)
-
"you know... you get ONE sticky key on
your keyboard and the next thing you know, you've got 10,000
copies of Max Payne instead of the 1 you meant to order" (Jason
Smith)
-
"Maybe if we trap Scott Miller in his
office for a year or two he will write a sequel to Kroz. It's
worth a try. Come on...get stacking!!!" (Dick Snippers ???)
-
Charlie: "Max Payne could kick Duke's
ass anyday" Joe on loudspeaker: "ATTENTION 3DR EMPLOYEE. You have
exactly five seconds to retract that statement before we unleash
the JoeBot2001 on you. This has been a Joe Siegler community
announcement" (David Livingstone)
-
AN ODE TO MAX PAYNE
--------------------------------
There once was a man named Max Payne
Who for murder was wrongfully framed
He pulled out his gun
And blew away everyone
And left every other PC game looking lame (Sam Grant)
In reality, this is Charlie Wiederhold unpacking Max Payne
boxes in the building hallway at 5AM the day we shipped Max Payne.
And now, the Xenophage entries:
- At least its selling better then
Xenophage (Blue Phoenix)
- "Hey, guys, I figured out what to do
with all of those copies of Xenophage AND all of these empty Max Payne
boxes..." (Steve Trinkl)
- The
city fire code required the temporary installation of additional fire
extinguishers and alarm pull handles due to the addition of large
quantities of highly flammable cardboard containers containing items
which produce heavy smoke and toxic gas when burned. The fire marshal,
oddly enough, seemed to have no objections to blocking the exits with
these flammable objects as long as the light bulbs in the "EXIT" signs
worked (although he muttered something about not liking Xenophage
before eventually approving 3DR HQ to continue their packing
operation). (Chris Lauer)
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