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Discuss this contest here ]
The winning
entry was submitted by Gautam
Menon. It was:
 "Here
we see Allen, pointing out to the guys, a prospective victim for his
'Be-the-woman-Bombshell-is-modeled-on (Must be willing to pose nude)'
scam. And he must have found a well-endowed candidate too, considering
the bulge in his shorts."
Some
of the others (in no particular order):
-
Do a little dance
Make a little love
Play Duke tonight
Play Duke tonight (Aidan Mowat)
-
Allen was once a life guard you see,
but he was more interested in poking breasts instead of saving
lives and was promptly fired and banned. Now he has lost most all
his mental capacity from no female companionship and pokes
imaginary "breasts". (Stefan Arnarson)
-
"The plane! The plane!" Whoops! Wrong
movie! (Dan Almont)
-
"Everybody out of the water! Quake
players!" (ThatGirl ???)
-
Suddenly David Hasselhoff doesn't look
like the most out of place person on a lifeguard stand. (Chris
O'Connor)
-
..And ladies and gentlemen, if you
look just over there you can see Pamela and Tommy Lee frolicking
on their yacht... and oh my...could it be? Yes, yes! Elian
Gonzales has returned! What a day at the Beach! (Reed Duffus)
-
"To infinity...and beyond!" (Kevin
Sears)
-
"Mister, is DNF out yet?" Allen: "
Hell yeah! Over there kid! You have to stop on the way, buy some
copies of Daikatana and shove it up your ass!" (David Livingstone)
-
As the disco inferno virus slowly
creeps through Allen's body, he really wishes he had kept off the
lifeguard's stand. (Mike Booth)
-
Look! There's the "Close" button of
the window, you moron! (Marius M ??)
-
My wife's such a kidder. During my nap
she crushed a viagra tablet and rubbed it on my arm. (Mark ???)
-
"Look! Up in the sky! It's our release
date for Duke Nukem Forever!!! (Adam Rofer)
-
Those legs and weak goatee look like
great candidates for "NADS", the amazing and painless body hair
removal system! (Don Chin)
Didn't think this one was overly funny,
but it got stuck in to make Allen feel good. :)
- And now back to the WB network's
latest smash sitcom, "Allen Blum...Chick Magnet!" (Don Chin)
In
reality, this is
Allen Blum on a lifeguard's stand at the
beach on a side trip during our trip to Los Angeles for E3 2001.
And, of course...
- "Yes, young apprentice, your quest is
a troublesome one. You must sail this sea, going west, get past the
evil fleet, land on Death Island, jump across a bunch of lava rivers,
defeat a dragon, enter the active volcano, traverse a network of lava
tubes, with lava flowing through them intermittently, and then you
reach your prize. Though I'm not sure the dumping lot of all the
Xenophage copies is really worth it, that's your decision." (Kevin
Sears)
- "Unfortunately 3DR employees don't get
out to meet women much. Allen became excited when he saw a bikini babe
wearing a Billabong cap and an I LOVE XENOPHAGE T-Shirt." (Timothy
Townsend)
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