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The winning entry was submitted by Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen.
It was:
 Sick and tired of answering stupid questions from idiotic customers, Brian
Turner goes insane. Taking thousands of innocent manuals and CD's hostage, he arms himself
with an invisible gun and threatens to push a button on his watch, activating a nuclear
device, if his demands are not met.
Some of the others (in no particular order):
- Due to a delivery mix-up, Brian Turner receives the
unsubmitted files and "visuals" of the Starr Report. He would like for us to
step out of the room now. (Brady Forrester)
- After surrounding himself with random materials in unordered
stacks, Brian finally felt he looked busy enough to any outside observer to get away with
playing Solitaire for 12 straight hours. (Brian Lutz)
- In a recent press conference held by Brian Turner, he stated,
"Now this is all the illegal porn we collected from simultaneous raids of the offices
of George Broussard and... eee... umm... George Broussard. Uhh. And yes this evidence will
be kept filed and locked up in my file cabinet to which I only have the key..."
(Raffaele Lilge)
- "Packing tape? A tape measure? Lots of disks? Must be one
hell of a bondage session." (Gregg Massar)
- Brian realizes his secret identity is blown by leaving his
super hero cape on the chair behind him! (Troy Hill)
- Damn it! If they needed the stinking OEM license number, why
didn't they print it on the CD?! Morons! (Al Hunt)
- Insert your own joke mocking "Xenophage" in some
way. (Ryan Van Eck)
- Not even a computer virus would survive in this environment
(Ryan Willems)
- "Now, with these manuals, disks, my watch band, and that
packaging tape, I should be able to create a device to get that door open!" Brian is
having his fantasy about being MacGuyver again. (Brian Eldridge)
- According to my calculations, just one more payment and the
computer and the file cabinet is ours. (Diane Smith)
NOTE: There were over a hundred entries that said "Now,
where did I put my (insert name of object)?" About 75% of those said Playboy.
In reality, this is Brian Turner with lots and lots
of computer software & manuals on the floor. No one remembers exactly why.
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