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The winning entry was submitted by Stephen Roy Michelson. It was:
 Okay, ladies, here comes our next bachelor, Steve Blackburn! He's great with
a mouse, he's great in the kitchen, and willing to work hard to get to level 7 in Doom2!
Bidding will start at fifty cents.
Some of the others (in no particular order):
- ...and of course Steve, as Duke's official side-kick you'll
also be recieving this handsome certificate and a mop with your name engraved on it.
(Jason Breitzman)
- For just pennies a day, you too can help out these starving
3drealmers through the Joey Fund. Broussard: "Won't you help us find a good home for
these pests? I mean, um, less fortunate beings, yeah that's it". (Don Morrone)
- "Will work for DOOM 2 L7" translation into Duke-ease
"Duke Nukem Forever will smash DOOM"! (William Goodhead)
- "Two of those wretched, pathetic souls, reduced to living
beneath an overpass on the information superhighway." (Theodore Csernica)
- Welcome to the 3DRealms Web Site! We would appreciate it if
you filled out the following survey before surfing our pages - we'd like to know what you
think of our staff...
How would you describe these two people?
A) Pathetic: Why is Mr. Blackburn wearing an apron (shouldn't that be his girlfriend?),
and why would ANYONE in their right mind work for id?
B) Outgoing: What woman wouldn't be attracted Mr. Blackburn, a man who juggles work and
cooking so effectively, and I am impressed with how the two men effectively advertise
their job desires without any of those silly résumé thingies.
C) Unimaginative: When asked to come up with a "booth babe" idea for 3DRealms,
Mr. Blackburn came up with this "Booth Barbecue" motif, while Mr. Siegler
thought that maybe they should appeal to people's sense of compassion to get attention.
D) Just as stupid as I am for actually taking this survey seriously.
If you chose D), please feel free to continue... (Liam Hassett)
An honorable mention goes to Lee Jackson of 3D Realms with
this entry:
Steven demonstrates the awesome, mind-sapping power of the
new Microsoft Unintellimouse, while Joe tries to match Steven's now-lowered mental
capabilities with a display of his ignorance of 3D Realms' product line. (Lee Jackson)
In reality, this is Steve Blackburn (w/apron on)
& Joe Siegler posing for a rather silly shot.
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