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The winning
entry was submitted by Eric Dziadosz. It was:
 "Are there any good female dental
hygienists out there that would like to clean a stud like me?"
Some of the others (in no particular order):
- 'There was once a face that launched a thousand ships, and then there is the one that sank them. (Michael Gough)
- Lee prepares to replicate the way snakes swallow large rodents, by pulling open his mouth and dislocating his jaw. All this and more when we return to "America's Worst Pictures Taken By Co-Workers." (Brian Dell)
- Working for 3DR for any length of time will cause the smile muscles to atrophy. The therapy Lee is demonstrating here helps somewhat, and will also improve your grip on the joystick. (Michael Olsen)
- Lieutenant Ellen Ripley, once again, gawked at the alien in scared anticipation of....the soon-to-be-seen second jaw! (Brad
Laskey)
- "No mom, I haven't been eating Oreos, honest...look!!!" (Jim Cave)
- "When this picture went public, 3D Realms was forced to reconsider their dental coverage policies." (John Bernard Daniel)
- "Funnily enough, those are not Lee's hands..."
(Hitmann ???)
- "As you turn to page 33 in your book, notice the effects of gingavitis mixed with agent orange..." (T. Brown)
- To keep development of Duke Nukem Forever afloat, George has commission the hiring of 100 monkeys to sit at 100 terminals and code. This is a snapshot of one of them during the interview process. (Thomas Mayer)
- Lee's reaction when Regis asked him the million dollar question, "When will Duke Nukem Forever be out?" (Kevin Cruz)
- In preparation for some serious ass-kissing for his holiday bonus, Lee warms up. (J.
Alvich)
- Step right up, folks...don't be afraid! It's Bertha, the Bearded Lady, our main attraction here at 3D Realm's Circus of freaky employees! (Don Chin)
- Exhibit A in Lee Jackson's suit against Big Tobacco.
(Humberto Yeverino)
- "Do the cabinets look okay? I told the guy at Sears that I wanted the color to match my teeth." (Mike
Guay)
- "Ahhhggg!! Not the teeth, It's the hair!!!" (Martin DeMontfort)
In reality, this is Lee Jackson scaring the crap out of the
cameraman.
There's
also this honorable mention:
Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer:
Lee Jackson the crazy elf
had some very nasty gums
and if you ever saw them
you would drop your pants and run
all of the other workers
use to call him Mr. Ed
couldn't even get his wife
to spend the night in the same bed
then one snowy Friday night
Clinton came and said
"Lee with your teeth so brown"
"won't you scare Bush and Gore out of town?"
the next day he was fired
his boss broke both his shins
he screamed as loud as he could
"NOT ANOTHER 4 YEARS OF HIM!!!" (Cynthia Marose)
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