Contest #106: September 8th to 21st, 2000


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The winning entry was submitted by Keith Dick. It was:

Well guys, from what this says, this is where Duke Nukem killed his first PigCop. And it also says that the Mayor is going to dedicate a statue to Duke on this very spot next month. Imagine that !… Okay, who wants to get a beer ?.

Some of the others (in no particular order):

  1. Steve Blackburn would soon be voted off the street corner. (Steve Trinkl)
  2. Having run out of clever quips for Duke to utter in the next Duke Nukem game, the 3D Realms staff turns to street signs for inspiration. Expect our hero soon to start blurting out such memorable quotes as, "ONE WAY, baby -- the Duke way," "NO TURN ON RED...*blood* red," and "This is a TOW AWAY your sorry ass ZONE." (Scott Pakin)
  3. Trying to get to the show, our heroes are stumped by the "Don't walk" sign. (Tom Hoelscher)
  4. "Oh my god. We finnaly found it. We've been searching for it for years. Joe! Grab the camera. We finaly found the perfect texture for that marble drinking fountan!" (Jason Schick)
  5. Look, y'all! -Why are those cars parked in the middle of the intersection? (Joseph Young)
  6. "C'mon guys, this is new territory. At least one of us has to pee on it..." (Eric Baker)
  7. "It sucks having to wait around for the JetPack to re-spawn" (Jason Smith)
  8. "Phallic Symbol? I just don't see it." (Jason Wolf)
  9. The menu seems ok but where the hell are we going to sit. (Andy 'Wacky Wheels' Edwardson)
  10. Steve to Lee: See dumb-ass? I told you that in California the walk signs say "Uh like don't walk". (Christopher Moskalonek)
  11. Seems to me that the AI for this one is Walk...then Don't walk, but let's watch it for a while to be sure (Richard Horton)
  12. Steve: "Just push the button, Lee!" 
    Lee: "Don't rush me. I don't want to mess this up!" (Cameron Orr)
  13. Ok guys. I say we give this one more hour, and if the babes ain't all over us, we try that other corner. (David Tupper)

In reality, this is L-R: Steve Blackburn, Lee Jackson, Nick Shaffner, & John Anderson on Santa Monica Blvd in Los Angeles during the trip for E3 2000.

Also, these honorable mentions:

  • Lee Jackson: "Hey, is that a fern following us?" (Ben Golus)  This is a reference to a very old camera captioning contest.
  • Ladies & Gentlemen - the 3D Realms Barbershop Quartet!  (Lee Jackson)